Saturday, September 11, 2010

You are extremely good looking, smart and have great leadership skills! THANKS!

I like to think about the pros when embarking on something new. I don't like to stress the cons too much if at all, though today I went that route and gratefully there was some intervention. I understand that the cons are valid as a good friend pointed out, but at times just fear and negative thoughts can be mistaken for cons and end up on that list. Exhibit number one (well, the only exhibit): Just as I was starting to think of the "cons" of my possible move to Miami, a particular one that my friend had pointed out to me while I was weighing it out was that many of the guys are unattractive and lack personality while the women are beautiful, therefore making the quest for acquiring a fruitful relationship difficult :/. Immediately after I let that marinate, I read new feedback on Ebay from a seller of a sweater I just purchased who I never interacted with; just paid the bill and never said (typed actually, lol) a word:

"You are extremely good looking, smart and have great leadership skills! THANKS!"

Well, this is not common for feedback in general, and even more so since there was no interaction, the person has never seen me and knows nothing about me. Completely random. Even if the seller only knows how to say this one nice thing in the English language (which it appears just might be the case :p), I feel it was definately God's way of working the Universe to let me know that no matter where I am in the world I am still me and should not let anyone "greater" than me stop me from being my greatest and achieving my goals, happiness and success in both career and LOVE (it is very important to me to have a truly loving, committed "there's no one better than you for me" type of relationship). So yes, the idea of being a "single ugly duckling in a sea of supermodels" was scary for a moment. Even though I am not going there with dating intentions or the expectation of finding love, I am not sure if the mentality down there based on what my friend who lived there offered as a con would affect other aspects of my life and more importantly my confidence. You need confidence where ever you bring yourself in life so that you get something positive and grow. Naturally, I don't want to be anywhere where worth is measured by beauty and realistically this happens (and not happens) somewhere, everywhere. After reading the feedback shortly after that conversation with my friend, I feel I can go there not thinking about how my inability to possibly reach the Miami Beauty Standards will affect my life overall :) That's not why I am going there after all, and those thoughts had never initially crossed my mind. The goal is to make a temporary change in my life that will allow me to learn, grow and share with others and eventually return home a better person that I am today. There is nothing bad that can come out of this, it's all a pro and regardless of whatever obstacles present themselves along the way it will remain a pro as long as I keep my focus on the initial goal.
This story was a "must share" for me because this is not something that always happens when you are starting to feel down and there's no one around to distract you from your thoughts lingering to the "other" things in life. What I have learned is:

  • There's always a something higher than us leading us in a positive direction; God, the Universe, however you view it, will send you a sign to snap you out of any negative information given to you by others or by your own thoughts. That ebay feedback was the friendly reminder.
  • Eliminate the cons on most lists. We truly do have the ability to determine which lists call for a pros AND cons weigh out and which don't; most cons are merely obstacles and obstacles are an inevitable part of life. It's about how we handle them when they do appear that's important. Think about the pros and the goals. The cons will only hold you back from trying something that may bring you to a higher place in life. We already know that there are obstacles wherever we go, no need to dwell on them before they even present themselves, that will get you no where. Keep your focus on the goal in the midst of the obstacles. We can overcome anything.

  • The world is ours to explore and share. Go to new places with the openess to learn and grow. The most important "possession" to bring is your confidence and happiness wherever you go so you can receive the beauty and teachings every new aventure in life can bring.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Always a Light at the Every Tunnel in Life

After over a year of unemployment I recently found a job. I was so grateful because the timing could not be any better; just as my last card was about to be maxed out and all of my monthly bills were to come in, I was offered the position I had been hoping for effective immediately. It is far from my dream job, but for where I am currently living it is the best and most convenient and just the job I need to get back on my feet, reclaim my independence and save so that I can relocate when I find a job that is more suitable for me. A little over a year ago, within a few days, I got a broken heart which I blamed myself for (even for his actions, I know, how irrational of me! :p) and found out that the place I was working at was closing down and I was not eligible for unemployment. I had some money saved, but after a couple of months of searching I could not find a job that could work around my demanding school schedule that I had already registered for. My time was up and I had to make a decision: either give up my place and move back to my parents home far from the life that I built and love or give up school so I was free to take any job and stay. I chose the first which was a difficult decision since, as much as I adore my family and enjoy passing time with them as a visitor, I was just never happy there for several reasons. After 7 years away, I packed my bags and my roommate and I said our tearful goodbyes as I embarked on a new beginning. I felt I owed it to my education and all the work and money I had already invested into it. I titled this chapter of my life “Mysterious New Beginnings”. Unfortunately, as 2009 came to an end and winter deepened, I found myself in a serious depression. I was lonely, felt isolated, rejected (love those broken hearts and how one can start to see themselves through the eyes of someone who doesn’t know them) and could not focus on school. My car had broken down shortly after my move for good which put me more than two hours from my close social network and preventing me from getting myself involved in extra curricular activities out here. I felt as though my freedom, independence and traveling safety were gone. Without the balance of work, socializing, like minded people, dance training and school I began to see my life as a failure. I was no longer rational enough to remember that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel and that I had to put the time alone to productive use. I no longer felt like myself and even when I had the chance to be around people, I did not feel good anymore because I did not even know the girl that took over me. I began to dwell on things that normally would not matter as much to me. Because I was not doing anything that I felt was productive, my self esteem plummeted into the ground. The close of the semester and the arrival of summer made things easier and I saw that I was beginning to heal slowly. When I received notice that I was hired for a job last week, I realized how important work, fulfilling a purpose and making my own money were to me; I am extremely independent. The day before I was supposed to start training I went to the doctor to get test results for a mandatory medical examination. My TB test came back positive. I couldn’t believe my ears, in fact I laughed thinking it was a joke since that doctor says the most outlandish things in general; but that comical little doctor wasn't joking around anymore. I could not start training until I was on medication and further tests were done to make sure that the illness didn’t develop. Since training is done in intervals, I knew that meant I would not be working until October which meant that I did not have a job “just in time”. Surprisingly, this did not phase me much. I was upset for a total of five minutes before I realized that timing was in fact just perfect; the only thing that wasn’t coming just in time was my paycheck. Everything happens for a reason. Had I not been hired I would have never had a TB testing done and I could have developed tuberculosis never knowing that I had to be on medication to kill the germ I had been exposed to. My additional tests came back fine which means I have no worries now of developing tuberculosis or being contagious; I am taken care of. I can still work, I just have to lay low until October training begins and perhaps I am not even meant to work there. So much can happen in a month. The job offer may have came at this time simply so that I could solve a health problem before it started; God and the Universe takes care of us, we just have to have faith. I was not meant to start work there at this time, but I needed to get to the doctor and didn’t know it.

Spiritually, I have been in a bad place for just over a year and I basically lost sight of myself, my spirit and personality. I was still kind and knew my heart and its desires, but I was never happy and it showed. The only time I was positive was when it was to give others encouragement but felt horrible about myself. No matter how good of a person I was, I was not putting out the energy to receive the type of energy I wanted and needed in return. In reviewing my past year, there are a few lessons I have learned here to share:

• Work hard and play even harder; we need to take time to smell the roses, surround ourselves with things that we love, expose ourselves to new things and interact with other people. Even if you think you are happy being a loner, nothing can replace the gift of being out in the world and interacting with and helping others. It’s motivating, empowering, educational and will most likely inspire your work when you return to it. I missed out on much of that this year and plan to never let that happen again. As the song goes, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”

• There is NEVER a black cloud over your head; it’s not an easy thing to believe when one thing after another is happening to you, and that’s okay, we are all human and bound to be down sometimes. What we need to do, though, is remind ourselves as often as we can that there is absolutely nothing bad that can happen to that something good won’t come out of. No hay mal que por bien no venga is a popular saying in Spanish (Gloria Estefan actually wrote a song titled that). It means that there is nothing bad in which good does not come out of. Life won’t hand us one hard ship without giving us something good in exchange, just continue to send out positive energy and good intentions and have faith.

Though personal and therefore not in full detail, I am sharing the outline of my past year because I am sure there are people who are out there that can relate and may feel alone just as I did. I hope that what I have learned from it can help someone feeling this way to feel hope or to prevent it before it happens. Every obstacle does serve a meaningful purpose in life, sometimes it just takes time to see and understand why. I am finally healing and feeling like myself again and I don’t ever want to let “me” go again. I now this is cliché, but no matter how tough things seem, they can always be worse, so we need to try and cherish every moment, every person and most of all ourselves.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Being all that you can be and knowing that you are worth it!

I attempted to find a Middle Eastern dancer in a lovers embrace, holding hands with a man for my picture...some type of image that would reflect more than one side of me in relation to this article I'm sharing with you, so let's just pretend he's lying on a blanket with a picnic basket below looking up into the sky, lol! What do I want to see in my life? What do I envision? I envision myself holding onto the things I love to do (continuing my studies in dance for example), that are unique to me, yet without failing to let go of the importance of what love means to me and all that I have to share with a romantic partner. I know I've made the mistake in the past of thinking I can only have one or the other; passions in dance and/or career, or love. I have closed myself off thinking that I cannot manage both and therefore do not deserve both, hence, not realizing my full potential in either area of my life. This daily meditation from Living Life Fully that I have attached to share with you has inspired me to reflect on what it is that I have been (or haven't been) doing to see my dreams realized. The two most important things to me in life is to do something that I love for a living, therefore better serving myself which will allow me to better serve others AND to be in a loving, strong, joyful and healthy relationship and build a family. Opportunities of exceling in the first category and also finding love have both been presented in my life and I have shied away from them, but why, if both is what I want? It's because I'm at a constant tug of war of which to choose when I really should be practicing the balance of both in my life; we all deserve to love, it truly is the strongest and most positive motivating force; we all deserve to do something we love, that's what will make us feel our best and be our best for the world and people around us. There are several factors involved with my slow progression and they are all attached to fear; fear of doing well and being labeled as showy and my humility no longer being seen, fear of not doing what I love in my life, fear of romance taking away my identity, yet fear of never finding that romantic love, fear of loss, fear of losing simplicity in my life if I succeed in my professional endeavors, fear of living a life that is mundane and not fulfilling my dreams if I give in to love and it fails...fear, fear, fear and more fear, fears that contradict one another and the horrible idea that just one thing should possess all of my energy. I have allowed so much fear to attack the things that I love, which in nature is simply beautiful, so there is no reason to fear it.
My Conclusion:
We are presented opportunities for a reason, and it is because we ARE worthy. Whether or not we neglect other aspects of our lives lie in our own hands because we are the ones in the driver seat and responsible for the decisions we make. Therefore, when we fear these things, what we truly are fearing are ourselves. Let LOVE be the vehicle you drive in and not FEAR. Try to let go of what others may be thinking of you. You can still be successful without being arrogant and doing well doesn't make you a show off. You can still have healthy and loving relationships while maintaining a career if that's what you want. And we ALL deserve it, but it's up to us. As the saying goes, "it could all be so simple, but we'd rather make it hard." As of right now, I'm going to eliminate the latter part of that statement and work hard at keeping it that way and put all my loving energy into reaching my full potential and I wish the same for you! xoxo everyone :)
Meditation from Living Life Fully Pasted Below
Today's Quotation:
Become aware that you already possess all the inner wisdom, strength, and creativity needed to make your dreams come true. This is hard for most of us to realize because the source of this unlimited personal power is buried so deeply beneath the bills, the car pool, the deadlines, the business trip, and the dirty laundry that we have difficulty accessing it in our daily lives. When we can't access our inner resources, we come to the flawed conclusion that happiness and fulfillment come only from external events. That's because external events usually bring with them some sort of change. . . . We can learn to be the catalysts for our own change. . . . you already possess all you need to be genuinely happy.
Sarah Ban Breathnach
Today's Meditation:
Why haven't I given myself credit for the qualities that I possess? Have I been afraid of being arrogant? Of seeming to think myself as superior to others? Have I been trying to be humble and modest, while all the time sabotaging my potential because I wouldn't admit just how truly valuable I am as a human being? Have I let the things of daily life bring me down so much that I've been trapped under a mountain of worries and stress-causing problems? If so, what a tragedy that is! Not just for me, but for the people in my life who might have benefited greatly if I had reached my full potential. There are many people who might have been more encouraged, more confident in themselves and in me, more relaxed and at ease because I was close to reaching my potential rather than struggling to try to escape from all the problems that were keeping me down. My "unlimited personal power" that Breathnach talks about has been limited by outside sources and my own limited perspective, rather than allowed to be a major part of who I am. My own choices play a large part in this, I know. I'm probably going to leave my current job because there's no empowerment there for me at all--I'm strongly limited in what I can do. But for the last four years, I've watched my ability to help others diminish significantly, and I have to choose between continuing to do work that limits me and moving on to something that's more promising, even if it means sacrificing things like insurance and pay into my retirement account. It's not the job that's keeping me unsatisfied, but the fact that I haven't left the job to look for something else that allows me to reach my potential. Personally, I haven't grown up with influences that focused on my personal power and potential, so I've had a hard time focusing on it as an adult. It's a lot of work, to be honest, but work that's well worth it. You are a very valuable person, just as valuable as world leaders and doctors and lawyers and other people who are constantly in the news. Your value may not manifest itself in the world arena, but when it does manifest itself, you can be sure that it provides a great boost to people other than yourself. Strive to reach your potential, not just for yourself, but for the others who will be positively affected by your actions when you've acknowledged just how valuable you truly are.
Questions to ponder:
1. What kinds of things keep you from seeing your own value?
2. Can you think of any concrete methods for pulling yourself away from the influence of these things and focusing your energy on more positive things?
3. Do you believe that you possess all you need to be genuinely happy? If not, are the things that are missing outside things or inner things?
For further thought:
You cannot fail at being yourself. A cat doesn't try to be a tiger, and you shouldn't try to be something you aren't. You are a process, not a product. Your job is to discover what you are and to create that creature. You still won't be perfect, but success isn't about perfection--it is about authenticity. You are a success if you are being your real, authentic self.
Bernie Siegel